The all singing, all dancing account of the life of a vampire Megastar!

I couldn't resist sharing...

2004-09-26T23:15:55Z

Just when you think that perhaps the world has yeilded all it can, that life has grown stale and you are becoming tired of existance........a treasure like this springs up before your eyes and you realise you need an eternity to explore the world........then another just to fit the laughing fit into!

I'm randomly flipping through the channels when i find a man rapping. Nothing too unusual in this, but as I listened to the lyrics I realised this was not an unfamiliar tale.........this was Macbeth!

Well as you can imagine I laughed for so long and at such a volume Louis threatened to smother me with a pillow, then caught myself singing it for two weeks afterwards.

Here are the lyrics for the curious....

(MY NAME IS) MACBETH

I wanna tell you a story full of blood, murder and death
(My Name is) Macbeth
I was the baddest motherf- in Scotland
Whichland? Whereland? Wholand? Whatland?
I won a battle at the head of my legions
Showing my allegiance, slapping down Norwegians
Bearing a grievance, they came to attack
But ain't nobody gets to f- with Big Mac
On my way home I ran into these three mystic bitches
Of a kind that in those days were commonly referred to as witches
And they gave me some big news I had not been seeking
They told me that one day I would eventually be king
They got the other part right about being Thane of Cawdor
And I started thinking thoughts that I knew I didn't oughta
I shared the good news with my good lady
I was getting kinda scared but she stayed slim & shady
She said "What do you owe this king? Why you wanna be so nice to him?"
"If you'd left it up to me I already woulda iced him"
She was going on and on, frankly it was starting to bore me
And i think it was about then I saw a dagger before me
If there's one thing I just can't stand, it's naggers
So I done the deed and she ditched the daggers

(My name is, my name is, my name is)
Macbeth

Hi (my name is) What? (my name is) Who? (my name is)
Macbeth

Now I had the crown but I didn't feel like no winner
Whacked my best buddy Banquo, guess who came to dinner
Went back to the witches, this time they did not expect me
Some spirits gave me some knowledge they said would protect me
They said "You're cool till the trees come attackin' your castle
"And watch out for Macduff", man, I knew he was an asshole
"Though your deeds may be dark and your doings despicable,
By man born of woman, yo' ass is unkickable"
I came swaggering home with my new information
And had Macduff's family murdered by way of celebration

Hi (my name is) What? (my name is) Who? (my name is)
Macbeth
Hi (my name is) Hail! (my name is) Avaunt! (my name is) See you!
Macbeth

Now Malcolm was the name of the old king's son
And on the day I done his dada in, to England he had run
And ever since then, well I hadn't heard jack
But now he was back to attack and harrass the Mac with a pack of Sassenachs!
My knees were knockin' my head was hurtin'
My defences were down, my troops were desertin'
I strapped on my armour, my mood was improvin'
Till some kid said "check it out, dude, the trees are movin'"
The thanes were a strain on my brain, they were feeling the pain, they
decided they didn't haveta
My lady went crazy and done herself in, she shoulda died hereafter...
There mighta been a time to feel some pain or sorrow
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Hey Macduff what is your problem man, where is it that you get off?
You break into my castle tryin' to cut my -kin' head off?
Yeah give it your best shot, Lay it on, you nut
No man born of woman can kick this butt
Turns out my charm didn't offer no protection
Motherf- was delivered by caesarian section...
That's the last you'll hear from me, all things being equal
Unless some dumb motherf- decides to write a sequel.

I have returned!

2004-09-13T11:09:36Z

Children it has been too long since I last made an update to this little diary.

Has it been too long? Have you forgotten about me, do you no longer love me, are you no longer enthralled by my every word? Or has abscence made the heart grown fonder?One can only hope.

Unfortunately I have not much to say. Yes, unbelievable as it seems the life of the brat prince has been somewhat quiet. Peaceful. I attempted to take up painting but discovered I was spectacularly bad, so I decided to be a modern artist instead, which, it seems requires no talent whatsoever, just validation from the right arts councils. Which i didn't get, so I decided to become an unsung modern artist.

I'm beginning to wonder what they will call modern art in a century or two?And what they'll call progressive rock.....

Well this is the Brat Prince, with nothing more to say than I love you, all of you.

immortality leaves you with too much time on your hands

2004-06-24T20:57:12Z

Immortals really do have too much time on their hands. And I myself am easily amused.

Last time we spoke I was truly the poster child for pathetic, cowering and morose. Then I decided that it was unbecoming, shook myself off, dusted myself down and decided to 'get over myself' as they say nowadays.

So I decided to let you all know that I was alive, and also share some amusing titbits I found while browsing the world wide web.

Then I find that they even have strange combinations of letters, numbers and random punctuation, and if you put them into the journal it appears as little pictures. I was so astounded that I had to call someone. Several someones, David In London, Armand in Vienna, and Louis who was at that moment in our living room. Yes I have Louis with me! Ah, it is with such joy that I declare it.

He was my salvation during my little depressive fit, offering me solace, marvellously comforting embraces and when that failed some sharp chiding and a swift kick up the derriere over my self indulgent melodramatics. This turned out to be exactly what was required. Go Figure (ah, I love that expression, so very Miami!)

So that being said let’s get on to the entertainment:

The personality cocktail generator

How to make a lestat de lioncourt

Ingredients:

1 part anger

3 parts arrogance

5 parts leadership

Method:
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Top it off with a sprinkle of emotion and enjoy!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

What is your warning sign?

lestat de lioncourt may explode without warning

M
EXPLOSIVE

From Go-Quiz.com

Louis told me That he personally thought this one more fitting

brat_marquis
Look out for the

m
HOLE

From Go-Quiz.com

Can't think what he means......*glowers*

A test marked purely on choices of colour....a very strange, but weirdly accurate little thing

Your Existing Situation
Volatile and outgoing. Needs to feel that events are developing along desired lines, otherwise irritation can lead to changeability or superficial activities.

Your Stress Sources
Has an unsatisfied need to ally himself with others whose standards are as high as his own, and to stand out from the herd. His control of his sensual instincts restricts his ability to give himself, but the resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and allow himself to merge with another. This disturbs him, as such instincts are regarded as weaknesses to be overcome; he feels that only by continued self-restraint can he hope to maintain his attitude of individual superiority. Wants to be loved or admired for himself alone; needs attention, recognition, and the esteem of others.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Believes that he is not receiving his share--that he is neither properly understood nor adequately appreciated. Feels that he is being compelled to conform, and close relationships leave him without any sense of emotional involvement.

Your Desired Objective
Has an imperative need for some bond or fusion with another which will prove sensually fulfilling, but which will not conflict with his convictions or sense of fitness.

Your Actual Problem
Has a fear that he might be prevented from achieving the things he wants. This leads him to employ great personal charm in his dealings with others, hoping that this will make it easier for him to reach his objectives.

Your Actual Problem #2
Greatly impressed by the unique, by originality, and by individuals of outstanding characteristics. Tries to emulate the characteristics he admires and to display originality in his own personality.

There might be something in this psychoanalysis business, that was almost startling.

And I still don't know why Louis found 'Beware of the hole' so goddamned amusing!

Horror films

2004-02-17T17:35:35Z

This week has been a lower ring of hell for me. My teeth chatter, i watch every shadow in dread, I cannot bear to feed. I am facing a mortal's terror with an immortal's obsession, and it is slowly killing me. My days are plagued with nightmarish scenes, and I can barely hold a conversation without curling up, helpless and hopeless.

The result of one film.

You of course will find this laughable, that a creature such as myself would be left shivering under every coverlet and sheet in the house, and will no doubt be wondering what provoked such fear. Is lestat afraid of the boogee man? the monster under the bed, or in his -perfectly stocked- closet?

No dear reader. The film that had me in a cold sweat was The Crucible. A graphical representation of the witches place. And I am near to breaking.

Lestat